By 
My 20-year-old daughter is currently taking driving lessons. I added her as a learner driver to our insurance policy so she could practise in our family car. On our first drive together she crashed into a lamppost and wrote off the vehicle. Should she pay for a new car?
KH, via email
It is understandable that the cost of having to replace a family vehicle comes as an unwelcome surprise to you. Some readers may say it’s important for your daughter to understand the consequences of her actions and take responsibility for her own finances; she is not a teenager anymore.
One option would be for your daughter to claim on the insurance. However, this could add more to the price of her future premiums, which are already higher for young drivers as they are statistically more likely to be involved in an accident. Also, you could find the excess is more than the cost of just buying a new car.
The other option is to buy a new car without making a claim. A second-hand Honda Jazz (the family car she wrote off) can be purchased for around £700. As a 20-year-old, it is unlikely that your daughter’s finances would stretch to covering such an expense. You could ask her to make a partial contribution to the cost of a new car, even if she has to pay you back in instalments.
Then again, some readers may side with your daughter. After all, the licence holder who must by law accompany the learner driver is the experienced adult and so should assume a certain level of responsibility for ensuring the safety of all inside. If you don’t believe that a learner is ready to drive without an instructor and dual controls it is best to wait until you are sure.
Being involved in an accident at any time of life is a distressing experience, even more so when you are a new driver and the incident involves a family member. Some readers may tell you to count your lucky stars that no one was injured and that the crash alone will have been enough of a lesson for your daughter.
Readers can send their responses to each week’s questions by emailing moralmoney@Finance.co.uk or by commenting below.
Put any question to us (and you can do so anonymously) and each week we’ll publish a summary of the best responses. At the same time we will also pose the next week’s question.
Last week’s Moral Money and your responses
I began dating a colleague at the beginning of this year, and we’re now quite serious.
We’ve decided that, because we don’t want our personal lives to interfere with our work, one of us should leave the company. There has already been an embarrassing situation in which we argued in front of a colleague because of an unresolved, domestic dispute.
Neither of us are particularly attached to our jobs, however as I earn significantly more than she does (an extra £35,000 per year), and because I have been at the company longer, I believe she should be the one to go.
How do I tell her this?
AT, via email
‘See it as a chance for improvement’
Presumably you earn more because your overall qualifications (experience, role, responsibility, etc.) are greater than hers. You should take this situation as an opportunity for advancement in a different company. You should leave, not she.
Dee Po, via comments
‘Sounds like the job will last longer than the relationship’
I’ve worked with lots of people who are married and work for the same company. They have been mature enough to view their spouse as a work colleague from 9-5 and then switch to their domestic relationship once they get out of the door. These two have only been together for a few months and, with this attitude, they won’t be together by Christmas.
Captain Sensible, via comments
‘Bad decisions will come back to bite you’
The biggest mistake was not remembering the old maxim "Don’t s**t on your own doorstep". Getting involved with a colleague is a schoolboy error – at one big organisation that I used to occasionally contract for, married couples were not permitted to work in the same department for the reasons outlined in the letter
Robin Roy, via comments
‘Forget current salaries. Who has the potential to move up in a new role?’
If you do both want to do this, both put out feelers for new jobs; whoever gets an offer of a better job can leave. It has to be about the future, not how much you are each earning now.
Bebe Bowles, via comments
‘A radical solution: ask her what she thinks’
Asking her instead of telling her gives her a chance to feel human and cared for by you, instead of feeling like an object who doesn’t provide you with enough of what you want (money). If this issue were to cause a serious problem between you, which would you choose: your job or your girlfriend?
Grey Jay, via comments
‘Is it really worth the argument?’
What a dumb question. If you ask her to leave she will resent you for ever and bring it up in every argument for years to come.
Sotto Voce, via comments
Comments